.. DIVING COURSE
1. When you dive, you're assigned a buddy even on a course. So I was assigned the very German Dorothy, who proved her German efficiency by always having her gear on before me, and tsking me about it !
I also had a guy that looks just like fat bastard from Austin Powers (red hair, hairy shoulders & arms, and, well, FAT), who had to wear twice the amount of weights everyone does just so he wouldn't float....

2. Again we had great food on board, so I ate lots & lots. This one night I ate dinner - Mexican, and took seconds and thirds. And after that swallowed a spoon of english mustard coz some dumb guys said they'd pay to see me twitch (it's REALLY hot). Didn't move a muscle. And then I had ice cream for dessert. Wasn't the best roommate to sleep with that night...

3. Did you know a sea cucumber's mouth and anus is the same hole ? Which makes you wonder what's the difference between Anal sex and Oral sex when it comes to them... Wonder - but not want to try, OK ?

4. When night falls, and the dives are over, you just get drunk on deck. Which made me make this remark : "Wouldn't it be cool if dolphins could wear scuba suits, go on land for 50 minutes, touch people, look around, and then go back in the water ?".

5. Below 20 metres or so, you can't see the color red under the ocean, so when Fat Bastard cut himself on the anchorline, he bled green ! Freaky shit.

6. My diving instructor said that I exemplify amazingly well the theory of the IQ circle - some people are so clever, they go back to being dumb again. I think if you know me you'll agree with her (especially on the dumb bit).

MAGNETIC ISLAND
1. Stupid drinking games we played :

a. You put a long piece of toilet paper between some guy's clenched buttocks, and light it up ! And he can't put it out till he finished his drink ! And it's really quick ! One guy lost some quality ass hair on that one.

b. In some drinking games, at some point, you have to make up a rule to follow from that point on. My favorite is making everyone repeating the last word in every sentence (sentence..). It's easy enough when you're sober, try it when you're drunk, and you'll wake up with one big headache the next day.

2. I went, for the first time ever to a nude beach. Everything feels better - going in the water, the breeze, jogging. You had to climb a cliff down to get there (clothed, so you wouldn't cut yourself...), and find that exact same cliff on the way back. I couldn't find the way back up so I asked a naked guy and he pointed it to me. With his FINGER.

3. I spent most of my time here with Laura, a beautiful, smart & funny british girl (and I'm not just writing this because she's reading...). One night, I don't even remember how it all started, she waxed a strip of arm hairs from me. OW ! But besides the pain, my arm went numb for a couple of hours. What women would put themselves through....

4. And besides that, since she's so british she got me hooked to tea (4 cups a day, no kidding), AND neighbours, an ozzie soap that's really big in the UK (D'arcy did commit the robbery !). I just need rotten teeth and I'll be a true brit !

5. Koalas sleep 20 hours a day, like cats only cuter. BUT unlike cats I realized this week that they do it because eucalypt trees, their main source of food affects them like alcohol does to people. So they're just big drunks !

JUGGLING
I don't know if you even still remember that, but I still juggle a lot. And got pretty good at it too ! http://didier.arlabosse.free.fr/balles/english/figures.html - check this site out, I can already do "The Shower", Mill's mess and I'm getting pretty good at "The box". Yes, I'm having heaps of fun !

AL'S SCAM OF THE WEEK
AL's scams are getting more and more pathetic. This week I just went on another diving cruise, and they served lunch on board, so I made my self sandwiches for dinner when we go back to the hostel (and got the captain yelling at me for that...).

1. Bungee of off 50 meters, which to my disappointment was not very scary,
as we had to wait 45 minutes in the top of the jumping tower. I tried to
jump in a cool "crucified jesus falling down headfirst" kind of jump. From
the pictures I got, I hadn't managed this, yet managed to jump in the ever
popular "terrified scaredycat tripping over a very tall step" style.
Does it mean I have to become a mercenary/bounty hunter/stuntman/go live in
the balkans if I can't get my adrenaline rush out of bungeeing ?

2. I took some Didjeridoo lessons and eventually bought a didj. For those of
you who don't know, a didj is a big big big wooden horn instrument, probably
patented by an aboriginal with a tiny penis. Picture enclosed.

3. Some popular activities when roadtripping for a couple of days straight:
- Playing the only 4 tapes you have in the car, singing them out loud (I
know way too much Elton John songs by heart now).- Fighting and bickering over every inch in the back seat. - Jumping up and down in your seat since your butt fell asleep after 5 hours
on the road. - Talking about sex. A LOT. - Asking the driver if we're there yet.

4. Stupid stuff I did along the trip in Australia's many national parks and
camping sites:
- Swam in a river with crocodiles. The park ranger was happy later to
explain they're only the freshwater ones that are smaller (only 3 FUCKING
meters - 9 feet !), and they don't really bite humans usually. I just hope
they know it.
- Jumped off of a waterfall about 20 meters high, straight into a pool of
sweetwater under it, only to find the sign asking you not to do it on the
way out.
- Grew hair, and then trying to cut it myself with my clippers. This, as I
found out, is much harder than giving yourself the good old buzz cut.

5. I passed two time zones on the drive to the west coast. The thing is, for
the last couple of days, I've been going to sleep at 10pm and waking up and
7:30am, which totally ruins any chance of a decent nightlife. Stupid jet-less
Jet-Lag.

AL'S SCAM OF THE MONTH - "HOT GIRL" add
-----------------------------------------
When one is to look for a lift, he has to find other backpackers with a car
in Australia willing to take him with them. This, however, is harder than it
sounds, as those Travellers are pretty rare to find. And when they do want
to go somewhere, who will they pick - me or a full bossomed european girl
for the ride ?

The medium where most Travellers find their lifts is through hostel notice
boards, and there are practically tens of notices on each. So I just put up
a notice that said in Bold font and big letters "HOT GIRL", just to attract
the people's eyes. When they do come closer it reads : "I'm not a HOT GIRL,
just a fun 22 year old guy looking for a ride." I got 3 rides in 5 days,
which proved to me I can make a decent advertiser.